Shifts, Retrograde, and Pleasing Others- PLUS Meet Mindful Blooming
There’s a message coming thorough this week as I listen to the undercurrent of similar transmissions from different channels.
What does this mean?
I’ve been noticing a theme in this week’s energy as I connect and interact with people: the good ol Achilles heel of people pleasing.
You know, sacrificing your own wants, desires, needs, and aspiration to make someone else happy or comfortable.
To blame yourself to avoid conflict.
Agreeing to things you don’t really want to do out of obligation to perceived responsibility for someone else’s feelings.
When I put it all like that, it doesn’t sound so valiant does it?
People pleasing is a coping mechanism we learn early and solidify hard through the years.
Ask any recovering people pleaser….it takes work to NOT feel guilty about putting themselves first. It takes work to learn, set, and enforce boundaries.
It takes work to undo the conditioning that other peoples’ emotions/need/desires matter more than your own.
Sometimes, it’s not even safe for someone to have their own wants, needs, or desires…..
It’s natural to want to be liked, loved, peaceful, accepted, etc.
It’s instinctual survival to want to belong to a family, community, group etc. In ancient times, it is how people stayed alive.
It’s deeply engrained in us to seek acceptance.
Also, over the course of the last 200 years of evolution, so much of what we see as people pleasing is a conditioned reaction to a collective world that is emotionally immature.
“Showing up by growing up, and growing up by showing up.”
Show up for yourself. Allow your needs to be important, and met.
As I have interacted with people this week, this theme keeps coming up. For my own reflection, but as a greater observation as to what and how people say and do to protect themselves and others from feeling.
Something that we are all here to do. FEEL.
Did you squirm a bit?….ewwww feelings….all the feelings.
I’m currently reading “The Presence Process” by Michael Brown.
It is a book that is a guide into the present moment and into Presence. (connection with all things, similar to samadhi(bliss) in yoga).
Most of what we avoid feeling, or what we do feel roots and stems from anger, fear, sadness.
When we are brave enough to go to the root of the emotion (energy in motion), allow ourselves to be present with that energy in motion, we can integrate that experience. We can create a better quality of experience by integrating the emotional charge that past unintegrated experiences subconsciously drive us to live by.
All this to say, the first step to recovering from the people pleasing plague is to start asking yourself,
“How do I REALLY feel about this?” or “What do I really want?”
Bonus points if you get out of your thinking mind and into your body by way of breath and movement. Our bodies hold so much untapped wisdom, and when you take the time to drop into that, many answers and revelations can rise up from within. Breath can help you move through the “energy in motion” so that you can sit with all that is available in the present moment.
“Present moment awareness isn’t a concept, it’s an experience.
It is a state of being in which we effortlessly integrate the authentic Presence we are with each given moment we are in so that we are able to respond consciously to each experience. The feeling may not be what we desire, but it is what we require.”
As within so without. As I start to experience this process I inevitably will see these experiences reflected in my outer world.
I’ve noticed this year, that as a gardener, the state of my Earthly garden very much reflects the state of my internal soils and landscapes.
I am uprooting long held beliefs, allowing myself to dig up unintegrated experiences with the intention of feeling the feelings and then transplanting.
Replanting those experiences in the soils of wisdom instead of continuing to let them spread through and effect my current moment experience like that mint you can’t get to go away.
Our mind is like mint. Left unchecked it can run rampant and take over.
(a little garden wisdom that just came.. teehee)
I am also currently uprooting ALL of the hard work I did this year to make room for expansion and increased production in my garden.
I recently had a garden consultation with Mindful Blooming LLC.
I’ll share more about that experience below, but when she sent me back this amazing report, I cringed at the suggestions of moving ALL of the medicinal herbs out of my garden bed for various reason.
But she was right.
And as much as I didn’t want to face the fact of improperly planting things, I really didn’t want to accept the work of moving it all.
I worked so hard to make it nice! Now I have to rearrange everything!? Shit!
My garden has the capacity to grow, expand, evolve, and be abundantly productive for the greatest good of all as well as beautiful.
Just like me.
But it always requires devotion and sometimes it takes some real and dirty work.
So I moved the first two rows of plants Sunday, and will work on more today.
And now instead of dreading the work, I am excited to see how this garden space will evolve in its capacity and to see it nourish those who receive the abundance with gratitude.
As I embark on this transformative experience with The Presence Process, I am inevitably seeing my inner work reflecting in my outer life already.
I am now in the space of “not knowing” which typically will make people squirm.
But in my not knowing, I get to be present to each dig of the shovel. I get to feel that love and connection with Mother Earth every time I tuck a ball of roots into the ground to rest in a fresh place to flourish.
I get to experience the joy of living right now.
In my not knowing, I get to dream, listen, rest, and prepare for those moments of “knowing” and inspired action when they do arrive.
I can receive it all fully and unconditionally
Meet Mindful Blooming!
Click HERE to find out more and scheduel your consultation!
About Mindful Blooming:
At Mindful Blooming we understand how wellness and gardening go hand in hand.
Our mission is to help coach you with taking that step outside and gain confidence in growing your garden.
Located in Belvidere, IL we understand our local climate and can teach our clients about how to plan and grow a beautiful garden while braving the crazy climate the Chicagoland area endures!
Mindful Blooming specializes in working side by side with their clients to get them back into the garden to unplug and destress.
Gardening has been shown to be beneficial in improving quality of life both physically and mentally.
Gardening appeals to the senses. Enjoy the visuals of flowers. Smell the lilacs in bloom. Feel the texture of a Sage plant. Taste the fresh tomatoes. Listen the to birds enjoying a natural habitat.
About Amanda Weides, Certified Garden Consultant:
Amanda has an A.A.S. in Ornamental Horticulture and is certified in Sustainable Horticulture.
She completed the Gardenary Garden Coach Certification Program to build on her knowledge in the industry to better meet the needs of her clients.
Outside of Mindful Blooming, Amanda has a farm with chickens, goats, cats, and 70 house plants!
She has an avid passion for meditation and herbalism.
About My Experience with Garden Consultation:
As someone who is pretty much self taught and confident in my gardening abilities, I kind of shrugged off the initial idea of having a garden consultation.
I met Amanda at the Rockford Crunchy Ladies Natural Living Expo and absolutely adored her energy.
We chatted, she shared about upcoming events, and she authentically beamed with joy as she shared her passion for helping others create, update, and appreciate their garden space.
Long story short, I started to reconsider my initial dismissal for “help”.
I mean, I don’t know everything right? I have big goals! Maybe a little consultation wouldn’t hurt.
I was so blown away by Amanda and her knowledge, grounded-ness, and ideas for my space. She had great suggestions and observations, as well as witnessing the work I have done, and the potential of the space I have in my visions.
And let’s be real, if you take a gardener to their garden and ask them to show you around….that’s when you really feel the love.
Following our fantastic and robust in person consultation, I received an incredible document outlining the next steps, suggestions for planting and what plants I could plant, some other efficiency opportunities, and the next steps in working together.
I am genuinely grateful I decided to call for help. I absolutely will work with Amanda again, and I look forward to hearing of your experience.